Understand how you regulate emotions, practise self-compassion, and build the capacity to lead resilient, happy teams.
Emotional RegulationResilienceSelf-Compassion
01
Module 5 · Lesson 1
Regulate Your Emotions
2-minute discussion guide. Click each card to explore the key ideas, then use the breakout questions below to spark conversation in your group.
Key Ideas
🧠
Three Regulation Systems
Paul Gilbert describes three systems working together: threat (self-protection), drive (chasing goals and rewards), and soothing (contentment and care). Most of us run an overactive threat and drive system with an underactive soothing one.
🔄
You Can Reframe
Neuroscientist Kevin Ochsner shows we can change how we respond to a trigger by reframing it more calmly or positively. Everyone can learn this — and regulating emotions is the foundation of resilience.
🎯
Seligman's 3 P's
Personalisation (blaming yourself), Pervasiveness (assuming one bad thing spreads everywhere), and Permanence (believing it will last forever). Catch these three thinking traps and you build resilience over time.
🏷️
Name It to Tame It
Dan Siegel's technique: naming an emotion buys the brain time for rational thinking to kick in. Feelings are messengers of needs — meet the need and you unlock positive energy in the team.
"You're not a prisoner of your feelings. When we suppress how we feel, our emotions become a negatively coiled spring waiting to pounce... Instead, feel without guilt or shame. It's okay to feel. Feel it in your body fully and it will pass quickly."
— Shane Parrish
Breakout Discussion
Scenario to consider
A team member has started arriving late and flustered for the daily morning meeting, distracted and absent-minded. You've heard informally that they're going through a tough time at home — but the meeting is still an important part of the day.
💬
Group Discussion Timer
10 minutes · 2 questions
10:00
01
Question 1 — Reflect
Think of a recent moment when your threat or drive system took over at work. What triggered it, and how might reframing or "naming it" have changed your response?
02
Question 2 — Apply
In the scenario above, what might the team member's unmet needs be, which business objectives are being affected, and how could you adjust to meet those needs?
02
Module 5 · Lesson 2
Practise Mindful Awareness
2-minute discussion guide. Click each card to explore the key ideas, then use the breakout questions below to spark conversation in your group.
Key Ideas
🤍
Self-Compassion, Not Self-Judgment
Kristin Neff's first pillar: be kind and understanding towards yourself when you fail, rather than harshly self-critical. Who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?
🌐
Common Humanity
Neff's second pillar: recognise that all humans struggle and suffer. Your pain isn't yours alone — it's part of a shared human experience, which loosens the grip of isolation and blame.
🧘
Mindfulness Is a Superpower
Neff's third pillar: observe your thoughts without being consumed by them. Meditation is the tool; mindfulness is the state. Notice thoughts as just thoughts, and let them pass.
🪜
Schwartz's 4 R's
Jeffrey Schwartz's daily practice: Relabel what you feel, Reframe it as brain activity (not who you are), Refocus on the present, and Revalue by making the first steps automatic.
"Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings — after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?"
— Dr. Kristin Neff
Breakout Discussion
💬
Group Discussion Timer
10 minutes · 2 questions
10:00
01
Question 1 — Reflect
How does your inner voice talk to you when you make a mistake? Would you speak to a colleague or friend the same way — and what would change if you didn't?
02
Question 2 — Apply
Where could Schwartz's four steps — Relabel, Reframe, Refocus, Revalue — help you handle a recurring stress trigger at work? Pick one and walk through it as a group.
03
Module 5 · Lesson 3
Progress Not Perfection
2-minute discussion guide. Click each card to explore the key ideas, then use the breakout questions below to spark conversation in your group.
Key Ideas
🎵
Life Is Not a Journey
Alan Watts argued life has no destination — it's more like music, meant to be played and enjoyed as it goes. Every change is a new verse, to be experienced rather than critiqued.
🧩
Resilience Is Perception
Building on Garmezy's work, George Bonanno found resilience lives in how we interpret events. We only view something as traumatic when we decide it is — the story we tell ourselves shapes how we feel.
🎛️
Locus of Control
Julian Rotter's idea: do you believe outcomes are down to luck and outside forces, or that you're the orchestrator of your fate? A stronger internal locus links to resilience — and it can be learned.
📈
Small Steps Compound
Mehrnaz Bassiri: progress is slow, small, steady steps repeated over time. Use a smaller, more sensitive scale to notice and celebrate movement — those tiny steps combine into transformative change.
"But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing, and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played."
— Alan Watts
Breakout Discussion
💬
Group Discussion Timer
10 minutes · 2 questions
10:00
01
Question 1 — Reflect
Think of a recent setback. How much of how you feel about it comes from the event itself, versus the story you told yourself afterwards? Where does your locus of control sit?
02
Question 2 — Apply
What "smaller scale" could you use to measure and celebrate progress in your team — so people see how far they've come instead of only how far there is to go?
04
Module 5 · Lesson 4
Create a Happy Workplace
2-minute discussion guide. Click each card to explore the key ideas, then use the breakout questions below to spark conversation in your group.
Key Ideas
🔥
Burnout Is About the Workplace
Jennifer Moss argues burnout is a leadership responsibility, not an individual failing. Gallup's top causes: unfair treatment, unmanageable workload, unclear roles, poor manager support, and unreasonable time pressure.
📊
Measuring Burnout
Christina Maslach's Burnout Inventory measures exhaustion, depersonalisation, personal accomplishment, cynicism and professional efficacy — a way to see burnout before it does real damage.
⚖️
Six Areas of Worklife
Workload, control, reward, community, fairness and values. Balancing these six areas — and understanding each person's expectations — is how leaders create engagement instead of burnout.
🌱
Hygiene + Motivation
Frederick Herzberg: hygiene factors remove pain and dissatisfaction, but only motivation factors help people grow. You need both — good hygiene and real opportunity to grow — for a happy, motivated team.
"Burnout is preventable. It requires good organisational hygiene, better data, asking more timely and relevant questions, smarter (more micro) budgeting, and ensuring that wellness offerings are included as part of your well-being strategy."
— Jennifer Moss
Breakout Discussion
💬
Group Discussion Timer
10 minutes · 2 questions
10:00
01
Question 1 — Reflect
Looking at the six areas of worklife — workload, control, reward, community, fairness, values — which is most out of balance in your team right now, and what's the cost of leaving it?
02
Question 2 — Apply
What is one high-hygiene and one high-motivation factor you could introduce this month to move your team towards a happier, more resilient workplace?
Module 5 of 6